Traveling with Children: Tips from the Field

There have been several reality checks since I became a mom, such as “wow, I really am never going to sleep eight hours again,” and “children’s toys with multiple pieces are designed to create permanent back pain and mental instability.” One of the most difficult reality checks, however, occurred the first time I traveled with Mac. I mean, I knew it would be different and difficult, but no one can really prepare you for the complete absence of relaxation on a supposed vacation.

Take Paris, for instance. We had a lovely time over Valentine’s weekend. We rented a small apartment two blocks from the Eiffel Tower and spent our days strolling the Seine, touring the Louvre, eating at cafés and generally enjoying Paris during it’s off-season. Ben and I were able to go out for a Valentine’s dinner sans Mac (more on that in the next post), making it one of our most memorable Valentine’s days ever.

Family photo op

HOWEVER, lest you be beguiled by a picture of familial, cosmopolitan bliss, let me let you in on a few things. As lovely as my son is, he is a toddler. Toddlers enjoy routine and naps. When said toddler does not nap, he is, at times, quite fussy. Imagine our cute little family touring the Louvre, inhaling the timeless art. Then imagine a nasal, vociferous little voice eloquently cutting through the expectant hush surrounding a David masterpiece. So cute, right?

Now, cut to the classic Parisian café. This is my LEAST FAVORITE part of traveling. Eating out with Mac, while necessary, induces stomach clenching and no end of spousal friction as Ben admonishes me to “relax.” I CAN’T RELAX BECAUSE I’M IN A PARISIAN CAFÉ WITH MY TODDLER. I mean, there are *real* people around! I’m perched on the edge of my seat, shoving food towards M at any sign of discontentment and at any noise save laughter. In Mac’s defense, we eat out with him a lot and he rarely really “loses his trousers,” as my mom would say. This does not prevent me from running exit strategies through my head whilst I try to both enjoy and shovel my food. 

Montmartre

And last but not least, a story that, in retrospect, sends Ben and I into gales of laughter. So we have this old mobile phone (that still has battery power) that our landlady gave Mac as a toy. I, unwitting idiot that I am, brought it along to Paris. At 5:15 AM on Saturday morning, the phone alarm goes off. LOUDLY. I have no idea what the sound is, and once I figure it out, I have NO idea where the (insert adjective) phone is. In a stuporous panic, I hiss at Ben to go find the phone, because god forbid Mac wakes up. We find the phone, only to realize that everything is in German. It is very difficult to translate things to English  while asleep and panicking, by the way. OH. And although I turned the phone off, it was possessed and this whole scenario was reenacted the next morning. Lesson learned: Never bring along electronic devices that possess unknown demonic powers. 

Champs-Élysées hot cocoa

I know I am not alone in my feelings about traveling with children. It’s not easy. I have found many tips about traveling with kids online, but often people give advice on one subject (i.e., traveling with children on a plane). I've had a hard time finding a more comprehensive approach. In light of this, I’m going to share some tips that have helped us in our travels and that cover a broad range of topics. Keep in mind that I have one child who is a year old, so not everything will be applicable to all families. I am no expert and most of these tips are probably obvious, but it can’t hurt to share a few things that have helped us along the way. (I am not being compensated in any way to endorse any product I mention below).

Transportation

I swear by purchasing seats in the bulkhead if you are flying internationally and your child is less than two and in your lap. If your child is under the weight limit (usually between 20-25 pounds), you can ask for a bassinet that clips into the wall of the bulkhead. Make sure to call the airline to confirm the weight limit and the availability of the bassinet. If the fasten seatbelt light comes on, you will have to pick your baby up, sleeping or not. Now, if your child is heavier than the bassinet weight limit (like mine currently is), the bulkhead is great because you can put your baby on the ground at your feet without sacrificing the ability to move or accidentally kicking the little one. It’s a miraculous thing to watch your sleeping child at your feet while sipping a gin and tonic and selecting your next movie.

In the past, when we've needed M's car seat at our destination, we've taken his infant seat without the base. While traveling, it snaps into our stroller, we gate check the combo for our flight (unless by some miracle there is an empty seat available for Mac), and upon arrival, we just use a seatbelt to fasten it in the car. Now that he has outgrown the infant seat (and will soon require his own seat on flights), we plan on purchasing an inexpensive, lightweight, airplane-friendly car seat like this one just for travel. 

Gotta break up the prose

I always bring something for Mac to drink and have it easily accessible on ascent and descent. He has never had a problem with pressure in his ears, but there is a first time for everything.

If we are crossing time zones, I wear a watch and keep it on our original time zone. During the flight, I am easily able to see what time Mac thinks it is and I try to keep him as close to his schedule as possible, especially mealtimes and bedtime (thanks for this tip, Leah!).

I purchase an inexpensive toy (think consignment or thrift stores) and surprise Mac with it on the flight. This provides precious minutes of fascination and occupation. (Again, thanks Leah!).

I have three contingency plans in the event of total meltdown: string cheese, the iPad, and a warm bottle. I pack ten or so string cheese sticks and slowly tear them into bite size pieces. If done correctly, one stick can last 20 bites and, well, Mac loves cheese. I also pre-load a game or video (or two) onto the iPad and use it as a fallback. And the ace up my sleeve is a bottle of formula. I know M is over a year now and shouldn’t be receiving formula often. However, when we are traveling, obtaining milk isn’t exactly easy, so I’ve started using these packets as a temporary solution (I've also seen these at Target). They are easy to pack, are premeasured, and reduce the chance of a powdery accident. Flight attendants are happy to pour warm water into a bottle and if Mac is near delirium, it induces a lovely coma.

Layovers can be tricky. I cannot speak highly enough of our travel cot, the Guava Lotus. It is extremely lightweight at 13 pounds, takes 15 seconds to set up and take down, and can be worn as a backpack. It is a bit pricey, but this cot has saved us so many times. We take it as a carry-on and if we have a layover, we set the cot up in the terminal and Mac can either play or sleep. This is our favorite baby purchase to date.

If we are traveling by car, we try to break the trip up as much as possible. We drove seven hours to Provence, but divided it up into two days of driving. Mac can last about three hours before the nuclear option is exercised.

If we travel to a place without public transportation, we take a stroller that is relatively lightweight but can handle most kinds of terrain (cobblestones, rough roads, easy hiking trails, etc.). We have been very pleased with our Baby Jogger City Mini GT. It weighs 21 pounds, is incredibly easy to maneuver, and boasts a one-hand fold.

Obligatory Eiffel Tower selfie 

HOWEVER. If you are going to a city and plan to use public transportation at any time, skip the larger stroller and buy a lightweight, compact umbrella stroller that collapses easily and has a shoulder carrying strap. We bought the Maclaren Triumph for our trip to Paris and oh my gosh, was it worth it. It saved Ben from wearing Mac all day every day, allowed Mac the chance to fall asleep in a semi-recumbent position, and was easy to fold and carry. There is no way we would EVER have been able to use the metro or trains in Paris without it. Don’t even try a city with your heavy-but-awesome stroller. You will rue the day.

Last but not least, a good baby or backpack carrier goes a long way. We often bring a soft carrier and then just stuff it in the bottom of the stroller in case Mac needs a change of scenery. If we are in a place where a stroller would be ridiculous (like the Swiss Alps), the backpack carrier is a wonderful alternative and doubles as a high chair.

Next post I’ll chat about tips on eating out, where to stay, how to pack, and parental survival. 

Have you been worrying about the tiny details of your next trip? Let me know. I bet I've worried about the same thing. Even better, if you have a tried-and-true travel tip or gear recommendation, post below and make my future travels easier!

‘til next time.

Little Big Changes; or Pictures of My Trash Cans

There have been a few changes in my life over the past year. Motherhood. An international move. New home. New church. New friends. Different language. But there have been ways that my life has changed that are so small, they almost aren’t worth mentioning. And yet…these Little Big Changes are worth mentioning because they are the shape of my new life. They affect The Mundane. The move, having a baby...these are events that occurred at one point in time. The Little Big Changes are the consequences, the side effects, the details of the events that actually mean something. So here is what The Mundane looks like these days (just insert "...as I run after a one-year-old" after each sentence to understand what being a new mom entails):

• I live daily life by an audible, external rhythm. Our village church bells chime once for a quarter-past the hour, twice on the half-hour, and three times for the forty-five minute mark. At the top of each hour, one set of bells chimes four times, then another set rings the hour (five chimes for five o'clock). Yes. You read that correctly. Each hour. Even 0300. The bells also peal (loudly, repetitively, beautifully) at 0730, 1100, and 1800. So you see, I don't really need a watch anymore.
• My wallet contains three driver's licenses, two currencies, one military ID, and two copies of Ben's orders at all times. When I'm traveling, I add five passports to the mix (same wallet...it's fantastic for travel). Needless to say, I have never been so well-identified in my life.
• I can't buy anything on base without my military ID and passing military checkpoints is a routine way of life. I also carry a ration card for hard liquor, coffee, and fuel (at American prices, no less). 
• My car now has one of those cool, slim license plates. I'm one step closer to Jason Bourne-hood (cue Moby). The multiple passports help with that.
• I have four, soon-to-be five, trashcans in my kitchen. Recycling is a big deal here, and so I have one trashcan (white liner) for glass, one (yellow liner), for plastics and metals, one (blue liner) for cardboard and paper, and one (freaking regular Glade trash bag) for everything else. And soon, I will add a bio bin for compostable waste. I have to say, I actually enjoy this system. It's like going to Office Depot but in your kitchen...an organizer's dream.

  

  If you use a filter, you can make your trashcans look somewhat more sophisticated.

• My sink and my refrigerator are miniscule. The size of our sink has provoked Ben's wrath on multiple occasions (I challenge you to wash an eight quart Dutch oven in this thing without creating a tsunami on my countertops), while the fridge forces us to eat fresh and shop often. Oh. And stuff it to the brim. We have an American fridge/freezer in our basement, but who wants to go to the basement for food? We just use the freezer...because Germans don't have freezers in their homes. No lie.

  

  This is it, folks!
• My washing machine and dryer are German...and so are the instructions on the dryer. Thank goodness the owner's manual was translated to English. Because what does "Pflegeleicht schranktrocken extra" even mean.
  
• I translate my grocery list (at least the non-obvious things) because I now do all my grocery shopping on the economy (Amurican for "not on base").
• I rarely wear cute clothes (like JCrew or heels or jewelry or Kate Spade or anything else that would totally look great in DC). Granted, I'm not sure if this is because I have a one-year-old and the only people I see on a day-to-day basis are my elderly, German neighbors or because I live in the middle of nowhere and some form of precipitation falls from the sky every. single. day.
• And last but not least...I no longer wear my wedding ring. I know, *gasp.* I now wear a simple gold band because one, Europeans rarely wear diamond wedding rings and I like to (pretend to) fit in, and two, I don't like feeling like a target for theft when we travel.
• I am now very good at driving on insanely narrow roads at decently high speeds. Oh, and roundabouts. We Americans are seriously missing out. I never want to sit through a traffic light again.

Mmmkay. We're off for a long weekend in Paris on Friday. When we return, life hacks for traveling mit Baby. Or, "How To Actually Enjoy a 'Vacation' When Accompanied by a Non-Adult."

'Til then. 

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Our World

I’m sitting in Landstuhl, sipping a lukewarm Milchkaffee and soaking in Sun and Alone Time. I’ve been trying to figure out the topic of this blog post since the last one and can’t for the life of me think of something pithy, brilliant, or engaging. So you’re stuck with this super-informative and possible boring post. Many of our friends and family ask us questions about why we're here and what life looks like. And perhaps you have the same questions too and perhaps you want a glimpse of the Mundane Details of our life. I hope so, otherwise this post will be such a waste!

We live about an hour-and-a-half west of Frankfurt in a teensy, tinsy village called Jettenbach. It is literally in the middle of nowhere, only reached by traversing over-hill-and-dale roads. Jettenbach has a population of approximately 800 people, about thirty of whom are Americans, although I never see them. My neighbors are German and I’ve managed to meet a few other Jettenbachers at village fests. It is great for language practice, as most do not speak English. The nearest large-ish city is Kaiserlautern, about forty minutes away. We’re forty minutes from the French border, so really fairly far southwest in Germany.

 The area we live in is dominated by Ramstein Air Base, a massive base near the town of the same name. There are approximately 50,000 Americans in this region and approximately eighteen additional, smaller American bases (a remnant of Cold War era politics). These bases are, shockingly to me at least, still in operation. And so, there are Americans at each base. Ramstein AFB is by far the largest, with a “mall” complete with movie theater and the military’s version of Walmart (the Base Exchange/Post Exchange, or BX/PX for short). RAFB also houses hundreds of soldiers and their families, has a library, grocery store (commissary), post office, bowling alley, Chili’s, Macaroni Grill, elementary school, and a high school with over one thousand students. The coolest part of the base is the massive runway, where on any given day a massive C1-Something-Or-Other takes off on a mission of some sort. RAFB serves as the headquarters for NATO and the control center for Middle Eastern, African, and European military operations. It is also the center of American life in the Rhineland-Pfalz region of Germany. Ben and I are often on base for groceries, a random toiletry, or the gym. It is an odd thing that showing my military ID at a guarded military entrance is a normal part of life now. For geographical assistance, we live about twenty minutes north of the base.

Landstuhl Regional Medical Center is the second-largest base in the region and is about ten minutes away from RAFB. The hospital is placed at the top of a large hill, hidden amidst a forest of pine trees, and overlooks the town of Landstuhl. This is where Ben works and where military members and their dependents receive their medical care. It is also where casualties of war receive care. For example, if a soldier (usually an American but possibly one of our allies or even a civilian) is injured in the Middle East, Africa, or Europe, RAFB sends a plane to their location to retrieve them with physicians and flight nurses on board. They return to RAFB, where the injured individual is transported to Landstuhl for stabilization. If necessary, they are then flown from RAFB back to the US for further treatment at Walter Reed.

There is, as you can see, a large American community here. Some live on base, but most live “on the economy,” in a surrounding German village. People here are quick to help each other, quick to make a friend. There is a sense that we are all in the same boat. We all miss family, most of us are trying to figure out German culture and language, and we’ve all had to build community from scratch. Everyone understands military lingo, which is a language in and of itself. I am just now figuring out what some of the thousands of acronyms mean. Everyone uses the NATO alphabetical system (my last name is Delta Alpha X-ray Oscar November). Everyone is either an Army family or an Air Force family. We all stick out in German culture and are used to constantly feeling humiliated in our attempts at speaking Deutsch (yesterday I told the post office clerk that "I want understand" while what I meant was "I understand a little Deutsch"). We miss the same foods (Mexican), wish Target was close by, and that family was closer. Some Americans really hate it here and count down until their return stateside. Others, most I think, love living here and realize that we have an amazing opportunity to travel and live in Europe.

So there you have it. I hope that this gives some insight into how our life here is arranged, what we are actually doing here, and what the American subculture here feels like. Next up, I'll recount all the little things that have changed my life in a big way.

What questions do you have? I’d love to answer!