"And though she be but little..."

I've been mulling over this post for quite some time now. It all started several months ago when my mom advised me to think deeply about my approach to parenting in all its various aspects: discipline, media consumption, food, instruction, etc. What did I want my children to love? Know? Believe? How would I cultivate that? How would I discipline and, more importantly, why would I discipline in a certain way? Why teach Mac a certain schedule? Why encourage certain food habits?

I admit that, at the time, I was overwhelmed by the prospect of writing my own personal Parenting Manifesto. I flagged the email and every day, as it sits in my inbox, I vow to sit and write down my thoughts on these Deep Matters of Great Importance.

Time has passed and quickly. Another child on the way, planning to do, meals to cook, husband and child to love. And then one night, in the not too-distant past, I found myself flipping through the latest edition of Restoration Hardware (I say "edition" because it is literally volume-sized). I was eagerly looking for their nursery collections. After I laughed hysterically over their $69 crib sheets (organic, mind you) and marveled that every room was, in fact, the same palette--oatmeal + one other pale hue of your choice--I noticed something that really, really bothered me. 

You see, I had ventured into the children's section of the magazine, complete with meticulously organized, color-coordinated, and basically perfect rooms. (Before I continue, let me be clear: I love the idea of a meticulously organized, color-coordinated, perfect room and half of my disdain over these designer rooms stems from the fact that I will never attain them). I flipped very quickly through the girl rooms and noticed the usual ballerinas, flowers, princesses and butterflies, all in different shades of cream, pink, purple, and sparkle (less of the latter because the mantra of RH is Never Flashy, Always Monochromatic). And then I slowed down, as I saw page after page of really cool boy rooms. Gone were the chandeliers and ethereal angel wings. Instead, these rooms were decorated by maps, constellation charts, sports memorabilia, and vintage airplanes. These were active, imaginative, adventurous rooms. The girl rooms? Passive. Sweet and lovely, but very passive.

Now let me stop you right there. This is not a treatise on gender equality or nature vs. nurture or any of those other issues. And guess what? I'm going to decorate Little Girl's nursery in shades of white and pale pink. There won't be airplanes hanging from the ceiling. There will be flowers, and all sorts of pretty, feminine things, although NO butterflies. They are insects, thank you very much. No, I think what bothered me was that I wanted my Little Girl to be just as adventurous and inquisitive and active as any little boy. And the girl rooms in RH were just plain BORING compared to their boy counterparts. I want to encourage Little Girl to be brave and strong and true and honorable and adventurous and inquisitive and intellectual. And I want her room to be a reflection of that.  I want Mac to be brave and strong and true and honorable and adventurous and inquisitive and intellectual. She is a girl; Mac is a boy. How these traits manifest themselves will be different in each of them because they are different. But I don't want her growing up thinking that adventure and action are Mac's domain. 

As a child, my parents did a wonderful job of cultivating these very things in me. My room decor in junior high (and dare I say, high school--I was not popular) consisted of vintage Yankee pennants, historical memorabilia from the American Revolution, the Felicity American Girl doll (because, guys, she saved the day and helped the Americans against the British!), and books books everywhere. A book about a girl who ran away from her aristocratic family to become a sailor. Books on Molly Pitcher, Florence Nightingale, Clara Barton. Classics such as The Lord of the Rings, Jane Eyre, Anne of Green Gables, The Chronicles of Narnia, Little Women, The Princess and the Goblin. Books by Jane Austen, George MacDonald, William Shakespeare. I read and read and read, and when I took a break from reading, I ran outside with my siblings and played Adventure. I wanted to be a heroine of the tallest order, to Do Something Great. Of course, now I realize that Doing Something Great may look very inconsequential and ordinary indeed. But I digress. 

I think I have Restoration Hardware to thank for spurring me on towards my Parenting Manifesto. I have realized that I want to create a beautiful and feminine room for Little Girl. One with pink and flowers and gold accents. But also one that imbues strength, bravery, adventure, and an inquisitive mind. Just like Mac's room, and yet, so different.

And so, I have come to the point, however convolutedly, where I can start to write down these Deep Matters of Great Importance. But you'll have to wait to read them

'til next time.